Listening to: steady rollin' - two gallants
Drinking: Dunkin Donut Ice Coffee from like 12 hours ago.
My oh my it's been quite some time since I've last tried writing a journal entry here. Actually last time I tried was a year ago and it was just a bunch of babbling whinny bull. Can I promise this wont be too? Errrr.... I'm not sure, we're winging it as I type.
Well what has happened this past year, folks?
For me... Hmmmmmm............ I'd say probably one of my shittiest years by just events that had occurred through out it. I'd say after everything this year, past me was a little bitch for crying and being all mopey, little did I know I was going to go through string of events that lead to an uneventful bland life that has made me quite content. Have I progressed anywhere down the road for those goals i thought I had to achieve in order to feel better, eh... well, I have my permit now? Haha I don't know, still working at the same Grocery store, still living with my parents, and don't own a car. Hey, I am saving up for a car and working towards that shiny license, my shitty little grocery store job is paying me 11 dollars a hour (beats minimum wage of 7.25 that i started with) and just yesterday my boss asked me about being assistant manager, a real good friend of mine and I have a goal to move out before 2017 comes around and we've been looking at places just trying to make sure we're financially okay before diving in. So while I have not accomplished anything, I have started some things that will eventually build up to an accomplishment if I play my cards right.
A lot of negative things happened this year, but I can't allow them to over come the many fun small things that happened in between. I gave up on quite a few friends, but y'know what, I gained undertale this year and that's all you really need, yup. I went from getting high every day excessively to only like maybe 3 times a month really since November. It's weird because I'm used to having a high tolerance and now it's just like try and go hard like I used to and end up talking like I'm one with the vegetables. Huehuehuehue I will say not doing it so much anymore has really made my head feel a little more leveled. I'll be honest, I don't feel much of anything really anymore. Kind of feel like I'm just trying to act the emotions I think are expected of me in situations. Really I just don't care, a lot of me just wants to shrug everyone and everything off. I know it would be inconsiderate towards others though, and while I don't really care I'm also too lazy to deal with the shit that comes along with people getting upset over those things. I'm not happy, I'm not sad, I'm not angry, I'm not excited, I'm just content I guess. Every day I still get that thought that comes through my head that has been for over a decade but I've been doing pretty well at redirecting my thoughts to something else a little better. I'm still bland, I'm still neutral, I'm still not a good person, I'm still not a bad person, I'm still angsty, I'm still whinny, I'm still just another person bumping around lost like the rest figuring out what's going on each day, watching things change around me, making things change around me.
heh, well yeah, that's all I got for ya. Sorry I can't be more interesting. XD